9 Ideas for Emotional Self Care | Self care Series

Chronic Illnesses, Invisible illnesses, Mental Illnesses, Physical Illnesses, Well-being

What is Self care and Why is it Important? 

Self care is gender neutral and is the process of taking care of our physical, emotional and mental health.  It is important to you look after yourself to be more productive, improve your self-esteem, increase self-knowledge and being more compassionate to others.  By knowing your self-worth you will be giving off positive vibes and make you seem more attractive. Although useful sensory self-care is useful it does not necessarily address your emotions but dealing with your emotions can make you less stressed for longer.

If you are sitting there thinking self-care is selfish, well I have found valuing myself more has allowed me to give more and have stronger relationships with others.  It is easy to forget that emotions are not always good or bad, they are responses to situations that you control.  It can be easy to mask these emotions by using self-destructing mechanisms like alcohol, overeating and drugs but they are only temporary solutions.This post will a part of a 3 part series to help you with self-care ideas in loving memory of Nathan Robson. Nathan sadly lost his battle to depression aged 20 on 19/04/2018.


Emotional Self-care Ideas

  1. Keep a daily diary

Take time out of your day to record how you are genuinely feeling which can help identify the triggers of your moods and what makes you feel happier. If you are worried someone might get hold of your deeper inner thoughts put the diary in a safe place with a padlock on it the old school way or keep it password protected on your laptop. A daily diary can also help you see how far you’ve come, especially if you are working with a therapist to find the route of your problems. If you don’t know where to start try use these pointers and make your own list.

Think if you I loved myself what would I…

  • Do more of?
  • Do less of?
  • Who would I spend time with?
  • What inspires me?
  • What hobbies make me happier and how will I make time for them?
  • What goals do I want to achieve?
  • Which boundarieswill I set?
  • What actions can I take now?

diary.jpg


2. Seek Professional Support

If you don’t have anyone who you are close with seeking professional support could be a good route for you. Typically you can get up to 6 free counselling sessions through your University well being centre or the mental health charity Mind (U.K).  These free sessions tend to deal with one  problem you are facing due to the session limits.

However, you maybe entitled to free counselling in your local area through your GP about cognitive behaviour therapy, which helps retrain your way of thinking and may be more beneficial if you require longer sessions.  If you feel talking to a stranger is not for you an alternative may be discussing going on anti-depressants. However,  these take usually around 6 weeks to be effective and lose their effectiveness when combined with alcohol.


3. Practice a Healthier Diet

Food is important to fuel our day and affects our energy levels – Did you know certain foods can help induce you into sleeping or make you sleep longer? Getting enough sleep is important for the self-care triple bottom line. If you have trouble sleeping why not try one of these foods just before bed;

  • Walnuts
  • Almonds
  • Lettuce
  • Turkey
  • Tuna or other fatty fishes
  • Ice cream
  • Milk
  • Kiwi
  • White rice

Food also impacts our moods, taking multi-vitamins will give you an extra little boost or treat yourself by indulging if your favourite desert. If you find you have little self-controland are treating yourself to often why not try replacing sugary or fatty foods with healthier snacks or drinks. Lentil crisps are packed with flavour and low in calories, smoothies, herbal tea, yogurts or egg salads.

fruits


 4. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

I know comparing yourself to others is so hard, when you see beautiful people floating around Instagram and many people’s lives seem so much better. However, you are your worse own critic, deactivating social media for a while might help you to start focus on yourself.

Focus on your strengths and develop your weaknesses 

One way to identify your strengths and weaknesses is by downloading an online skill matrix.


5. Avoid Withdrawal

Most times I considered killing myself has to be to do with being alone for long periods of time and overthinking. Withdrawing from people or your surroundings are the easiest way to enter a downward spiral. Even if you don’t think being around other people is helpful to keep sight of reality subconsciously.  Avoiding withdrawal is always my biggest challenge with self care because when I feel sad I don’t want to inflict my mood onto others or socialise with them.  You may feel you have pushed most or all your friends away but you can work to overcoming withdrawal by;

  • Attend local support meetups
  • Volunteer in a charity
  • Take a random trip
  • Call a helpline
  • Buy or borrow a dog and take it for walkies
  • Reach out to old friends

6. Reminisce on old Memories

Look back at past photos and videos can really give you the feel good factor and remind you of what makes you happy. If you have time and need a hobby making these into a scrap book with quotes with lovely photos can be really fun. If you don’t have time to do this why not make albums when you upload pictures to Facebook so they are easy to find later.

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7.Let yourself Cry

No matter if you’re a man or woman letting yourself is not weak. Crying can help you let go of situations and doesn’t have to be in front of everyone else.


8.Talk to Someone

Therapy is not for everyone and sometimes talking to a stranger is helpful to get an unbiased view even if you’re on a night out. If you feel you are only temporary down a helpline can really help have someone who listen to you. However, be aware Samaritans don’t tend to give advice but just give a helpful ear.


9.Plaster on a Facemask

Buying a Facemask makes you feel good when you put it on a good one can help with your skin. I find putting on a facemask triggers a positive mood and helps me relax. My favourite ones are from LUSH which cost around £7.50. You can buy fresh ones or ones that last a little longer.  If you have sensitive skin you may want to look in the Body Shop instead as there are a small about of parabens in LUSH products.The most important thing with emotional self-care, or any self-care routine in fact is you do it consistently.

Unfortunately Nathan’s mental health deterioratedonce his therapist went on leave and there was no one to replace her.


Sharing is Caring 

Please share the love to help as many people with tips for emotional self-care. Thank you.


Have your Say

Are there any emotional self-care ideas that help you – if so why not share them below?


Related Posts

Behind the Brave Face | 7 Secret Signs of Depression

Slaying the Double Depression


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Common Types of Migraine Headaches and Symptoms in Children

Invisble Illnesses, Resources, Well-being

Hello Lovelies,

I was contacted on behalf of Diamond Headache Clinic, the oldest and largest headache centre, who recently made a presentation about various types of migraine headaches and symptoms in children.The presentation focuses on children aged 5-9 years old who regularly experience abdominal headaches, which can develop into more severe headaches later in life. To help raise awareness  please share to those looking for information to have  migraine-free children, as it provides a valuable resource.

          Click the diagonal arrow to view full screen


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14 Ways to Cope with Dyslexia

Uni, Well-being

As a young child, I always knew I was different. I couldn’t pronounce certain words,  couldn’t spell and I never understood what I was reading. Despite, having a private English tutor my Dyslexia was undiagnosed, until I went to college.  Although, the teachers picked up on it my parents did not have the money to pay for a test. Dyslexia can be daunting and can go undiagnosed for a long-time impacting your confidence and mental health.  This post is to help you or a loved one deal with suspected or diagnosed Dyslexia.  I hope, some of these tips will also help you even if you’ve stumbled across my blog and are not Dyslexic.


1.The Power of Colour

Colour does not help all Dyslexic people and even if successful each Dyslexia person may have their preferences.  However, a cheap tool – is the use of highlighters.  I find yellow and blue help emphasise text.  Furthermore, tinted overlays can reduce visual stress but may not be allowed in exams. One way around this, if purchasing tinted glasses but this test is not typically funded by DSA.

 

 

 


2. Planning

It can be appealing to start all your assignments at once, but the secret behind a Dyslexia student with high grades is planning.  A great tool is mind mapping software like Imindmap.  Dragon is useful to write up your work for you to help you plan your time and assistive technology to turn text to speech.


3. Get all your ideas out first

If you’re Dyslexic, it is likely you are creative.  I find that getting my ideas out and referencing my work at a later date (whilst, saving them) helps me concentrate for longer. By working this way you do not spend your time reading the entire book/ journal articles.  Also, if there is a flaw in your idea you will soon identify it and can change it or adjust your argument.

Creativity

4. Record Lectures

If your University record lectures, utilise them –  to help you remember content. Alternatively, you can buy a recorder for as little as £20 from Argos or Curries.


5. Apply for DSA

Once you’re diagnosed with Dyslexia, you can apply for Disability Study Allowance and you should be entitled to a Dyslexia tutor. I have to admit, I have found mine more  for exam preparation than assignments. However, it is still free useful advice you can access.

disabled


6. Reverse Sentences

A very useful tip I found was that reversing your sentences can’t no only help reduce word count but make your sentences more fluid. Of course, your writing style will depend on the type of course you are on but I find this works for Business related courses.


7. Use a Successful Structure Again and Learn from your Failures

If you scored highly on a reflective assignment or a report use the structure for a structure in the same format. If you not score so well, try and ask a friend who scored higher than you and identify the differences. If you are an introvert don’t worry.  Try and get extra feedback or someone else understand your feedback for the future.


8. Write with the Word count in mind

Many people will recommend that you should write your work and then cut it down your draft later. I find this just doesn’t work for me and causes stress and anxiety. If this sounds familiar try breaking down the assignment and the weighting of marks and allocate a rough word count for each section and try sticking to it. By doing this, I find that I am continuously proof reading my work and I am not cutting out unnecessary information impulsively.

Wordcount


9. Start by Reading the Grading Grid

I have achieved many A and A*s at University in my modules which I think is heavily attributed to breaking down the grading grid and what is expected of you for assignments.  This may not always be possible so try and look for hidden clues in a brief.


10. Hire a Part-time Tutor

Hiring a tutor can help you in times when you are really struggling.  I know all too well hiring a tutor can be expensive.  In the U.K a good website to look on it Tutorful (previously known as Tutora) because you do not need to pay a fee to receive the tutors detail and can pay on a credit card if you need to.  You also can have a free practice lesson.  When I am really struggling I pay a PHD student a rate of £25 per hour.

The benefits of getting another student to tutor you is they have recently been in education, and if they are fortunate to be at your educational institution they will understand how your tutors mark.


11. Get to Know your Lecturers

Taking 5 minutes to get to know your lectures can go a really long way. By them liking you, they will make time for you and let you book short 1-1 appointments to answer any questions you may have. As their time is precious, the best thing to do is write a list of questions to show you have prepared.

lecturer


12. Start a Blog

You may be reading this with one raised eyebrow – and I don’t blame you. When blogging was a requirement for a University module I went in Morgan meltdown mode. Not MORE writing and reading. However, I have found that by writing a blog I use a different style of writing which makes it not as a daunting task when assignments arrive.


13. Use Dyslexia as a Strength

It can be hard to get past the first stage of interviews for placements when you must overcome psychometric tests.  A still a massive barrier for me – what I have learnt is a big thing I was missing was asking for reasonable adjustments. When I hopefully get invited to some interviews and pass a couple I plan to use Dyslexia as a strength.  After all you are able to think out of the box, you overcome challenges on a daily basis like being resilient.

dyslexia strengths


14. Remain Positive

 Having a positive attitude won’t be able to make reading and writing y easier but will show you are committed person to your studies/ working and that you are trying to succeed.


Do you want more information about Dyslexia? 

You can contact The British Dyslexia Association confident helpline  0333 405 4567.

Sharing is Caring 

No one should feel that they are not worthy or not intelligent enough. Please share this post to help Dyslexic people.


Have your Say

Are you Dyslexic or support someone who is? Do you have any good study tips? – If so,  why not share them below?


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Lots of Love

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The Agonising Truth Exposed: Chronic Bladder Syndrome

Chronic Illnesses, Invisble Illnesses, Physical Illnesses, Well-being

Interstitial-Cystitis-

Hey Guys,

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year!

After being offline along time, here is the one post,  I was nervous to write about – fearing people would have the misconception, I am dirty.

I feel it’s time to share a condition that restricts my quality of life.  Interstitial cystitis (IC) also known as chronic bladder syndrome is NOT  a STI or a UTI.  However, bacteria has been linked to a cause of bladder inflammation.   Being the queenof UTIS and internal inflammation remained a mystery, until recently. Though, it  use to be predicted to be down to my bladder being about the size of a £2 coin.  If you have  never had long-term bladder pain, I sit here in envy. 

Now, I welcome you to my story – the girl who lives on antibiotics. 

25018072_160301361397287_8999899631403925504_n(1)

“Antibiotics, the best friend or fiend of an IC warrior?”

Some argue, antibiotics do not necessarily solve IC, which explains why I feel in high levels of pain every day. However, some GPS claim they are essential, to cure it or…. in my case even prevent UTI’S, that worsen it.   For many years I took Trimethoprim, Ampicillin and Nitrofurantoin with little or no relief, even when infections did not exist. Being told in so many words , to abuse antibiotics, it is no surprise I have a weaker bank balance and now  have now become immune to these types.  Typically, I can be on a course for 6-12 weeks at one time.  Recently, I have moved on to three new types of antibiotics on a 6 week course. The pain got so bad I missed my University exams, but now I am figuring out what I can do about this, battling on.

“I don’t give up that easily – with love your swollen bladder”.

I normally finish the first two-three weeks of antibiotics and don’t feel any better.  The first week, I will still be spending my life in bed, wondering if the pills will ever work or will I be dead by tomorrow.  I know this sounds dramatic. Although, the hospital keep ranting on how I could be well on my way, to developing kidney failure. IC and UTIS are persistent, especially if you have had them a long time – in my case 6 years of misery.  It can have as much persistence as a guy you have cut out your life and then drops you that text ‘Hey,bby girl how are you?’ and your like enough already, please.

“Chronic bladder syndrome plays trick on you like the house of horrors”.

Regularly, when I am watching TV, a shooting strike of abdominal pain arrives. Once, this passes I get settled and comfortable and then I realise, I need the toilet. I take a wee, and that’s it I am gasping for air, like there is no tomorrow.Urinating has more sting than a bee. It is like pouring acid into an open wound. I get up struggling to waddle down stairs, to glug down water and send my mum off to buy pain relief…

For an hour or two, if I am lucky I may be numb… ONLY if that feeling could last forever.  I think a day, where I can relax.. Then the pain strikes again, and as I swell the pelvic pain becomes unbearable.  I try to take my mind off it and take a warm bath to sooth body. It does, until I get out.  I pull a funny expression, as if an object is stabbing my urethra, thinking – “why, why me?”

When the pain rife, I cannot sleep or function for many days”.

Awake most nights in throbbing pain, I hobble to the toilet with relief to empty my bladder whilst anticipating the agony to come.  I climb back into bed to realise I hardly emptied my bladder and I need the toilet again.   “I look down at my body with anger and think seriously? – Like it is going to respond to me and say sorry Morgan, you are just an easy target. Reluctantly, I get up once again squeezing my bladder like I would a fresh orange for fruit juice, which can occur up to 10 times in one night.

Finally, I fall asleep anxious the next day it will be worse. I wake up, debating if I have enough energy to go out. Normally the answer is no, my insides are on fire and more often than not I do not want to leave the house.  I am to  scared to go out – scared that if a toilet is not nearby I will wet myself or have to immerse myself in a bush.  I lay back down flat thinking OK, things will get better but –  deep down I know I am more complex case. I have multiple food allergies, which if I am not careful – encourage the mast cells to release histamine and mistakenly attack my bladder.   Eating and drinking like many others, put pressures on my bladder. Furthermore,  I never know if a UTI has returned or if it the IC symptoms. My dip tests always must be cultured before this can be determined.

“Cystoscopy Round Two”

I recently had a second Cystoscopy, whilst I underwent other procedures because I had been showing high levels of blood in my urine for many months. The first one, I had two years ago despite the pain, apparently was relatively normal. So, I had a bit of a shock when the Doctor spurted out  I have a defect in my bladder lining, irreversible damage, internal bleeding and scaring and that  I never have a normal bladder again. On another 6 week course, I also await bladder installations.  The biggest bombshell of them all, was, I must restrict my diet even further.   Ensuring, I am also on a diet that is low in histamine, acid, oxalate and potassium.  In that moment,   I felt like I was going to turn into a restricted herbivore – with my mother on guard, the 24.7 FOOD POLICE, as I call it.

“IC makes you feel like, you will never be happy again”.

As the symptoms are so similar to an infection and there pretty much 24.7, I always think how long to the next round of pain…. Worrying it will be back sooner than it should. I missed out going out on New year but I want to focus on a couple of helpful blog posts in the next few weeks to endeavour to inject positive vibes back in me.

Do you suffer from IC like symptoms?

If you had bladder symptoms lasting longer than 6 weeks, you may be suffering from IC and should see your GP.  I know its hard but you really need to try and stay hydrated to prevent migraines. Imperial Colleges’ guide is useful to help you manage IC like symptoms.

Have your Say?

Do you suffer with IC like symptoms and have good tips to manage it – if so, why not share them below?

Thanks for reading,

Lots of love,

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The *10 Guys You’ll Find on POF

Dating, Uncategorized, Well-being

pof

Online datingin 2017is like playing cards – you’ll never know what you’ll get.Yet, there are many reasons why you might turn to it. You may be disabledmaking meeting people more difficult. Or be a busybee. It’s fast for a hook up, you’ve been on the SESH and didn’t get anyattention or you’re a hopelessromantic thinkingyou’ll actually find someone. I am sorryto break it to you but this is highly unlikely

You may be wondering why on earth am I on POF?

Well, perhapsyou’re like me, you’re just interested to see what’s floatingaround  the marketwhilst needinga little ego boost. I’ve been a member of POF onand off since January and I’ve met one person in reallife. Although, I am not sure he counts, as he was a friend of a friend. If you’re curious he turnedout to be number #7… and like a typical girl, i still have a soft spot for him (at the back of my mind, of course)

I won’t lieI have heard success storieswith Tinder but POF is an entirely differentball game. Anyone can message you, so connectingwith people is fasterand in turn I’ve found much weirder. This post will enlighten you on the *10types of guys to avoidon it.


So let’s, begin…The *10 Guys you’ll Find on POF

1. The D*ck Pic Guy

No matter what dating app you use there will always be the d*ckpic guy. It is either the first message from him in your inboxor you tellhim you don’twant one and he sends it anyway.He is one horny rabbit… and an uglier version of the f*ckboy (#7). If you looking for no strings attached and you’re not too worried about the stateof his face… By all means crack on but it’s a NOfrom me


2. The Serial Dating App User

This guy will write a genericlooooong message and spam you like a recruitment consultant.

“Hey how are you darling, where you from? You have beautiful ______ (inserts a part of the body). How are you finding Tinder?”

Yeah you heard me, Tinder.

He will oftenget confused with which dating app he is usingto message you and then pretend he hasn’t. He is either shockingly badat pulling, is desperateto be with someone OR is using as many channels as possiblefor sex.

dating app


3. Mr Stalker

This typeof guy mayor may not live in your local area but claims he has met youbefore in a place you’ve neverbeen or not at the timethey’re stating. You will notice a guy is a bit stalkerish if he sendsyou messagesevery minute of every day and gets moody when you don’t reply. Another warning sign is when you don’t reply at all and he persistently sends ‘three hey messages’ in a row.

All I can say is be cautiousgiving your numberto this type of guy AND social media accounts. Before you know it – You’ll be receiving Snapchats, Facebook and Twitter messageswhilst he’s simultaneously trying to textand callyou. He will leave you voicemails asking why you brokeup when you wasn’t even together.

Unfortunately, when you blockhe’s number it doesn’t endthere. The stalker will wantto knowwhy you’re not interested and search for your place of work and randomlyspend time in it like it’s his second home to watchyou. This happenedto me on a couple of occasions.

Creeeepy ey.

If this does happen DO NOT leave work alone. Be politeof courseit’s your jobbut try to keepthe conversationto a minimumto prevent his infatuation heightening.


4. The Proposer

The proposer is a bit more complicated than the other 9 types of guys.Why?
Well he has sub-categories. You may receive a message proposing a range of things from a man such as; offering to shower you with giftsand money, paying you in exchange for nudes, wanting you to satisfyhis strange fetishesor… he desires a threesome.suugar daddy

If you’re liberal and want to make some money… you might like the thoughtof men buying you things or sending nudes for money.

Nonetheless, just remember once something is publishedon the Internetit can nevertruly be deleted. Also, if the buyerguy demands to meet you and not in a public place, virtually run that mile.

              It is better to be safe than sorry.


5. The Book Writer

This guy has analysed your profilein depth. He’s never met you but is already falling weakat the knees. He’s taken every single word from your profile and made an elaborate essayof why you would be perfectfor each other. As, you read the messageyou can’t help but eye roll CRINGE

Whilst wonderingif he has mental health problems, if he’s pining for a partner or just a bit odd as you move on to your nextmessage.


6. The Cheater

He is one shady mother f*cker.He spendsa lot of timemessaging you to keep up the single pretence but really is lookingfor ‘the other woman’. More often than not he will have his six packon displaywithout a photo of his face. This is so he can say it’s someone elseif he gets caught out.

If he’s in a long-term relationshipyou may find a picture of his face because he believes that he won’tget caught. Facebook ruinsthat. If he lives near you on in your localarea, chances are a friend of a friend will know him and out him.

His biowill say something like ‘looking for some fun’ whilst he would of entered ‘not looking for a serious relationship’ when he signed up. Try and stayclear of this type of guy. You may end up riddles with STDS, pregnant or heartbroken.

Or a triple hat-trick.

cheat


7. The F*ck Boy

If you’re not down with the lingo… The f*ckboyis someone who wants to get their d*ck wet ALOTand doesn’t carewho they screw overin the process. He is on heatlike a Duracell rabbit. He is usually very attractiveand give youthe impression he is into you when in realitythey are or planningto message multiple girls at once. He would of put ‘looking for a relationship’ on their profile when their not to make out there a nice guy.

Manyturn out to be this type of guy. You can guarantee he is looking for a ‘gap-filler’ girl and suggests ‘Netflix and chill’ or he will say ‘I’ll cook you dinner round mine’ on a Sunday evening. Once, you get involvedwith him he will say he has feelingsfor you, and then retract this saying he told you the situation from the off go. Then, when it suits he will state he has feelingsfor you again.

Simply, a mind f*ck!

duracell rabbit

He will get jealous if you speak to other guys but won’t want youto spend timewith his friends.By preventingthis, his friends can’t accidentally drop him in it that he is after all the m*nge in the world.

If your friends are also on POF he has likely sent them a cheekymessage too so it’s easierto identify the f*ckboy. If not then look out for texts in the early hours of the morning after his night like ‘You out? Want to come over for a drink?’ If you’ve just got out of a long-term relationship and you want fun go for it. Just always use protectionas you don’t know where he’s been. After all, women have needstoo.


8. Ex Garbage

As so many people are dating online don’t be surprisedif you come across your ex-boyfriendon POF. If you’re stillinto him *sigh* I know this can be tough but he will think you’re over it if he finds you on there too. Stay strong. Whatever you do, don’t message him… The past is the past for a reason!


9. The Chancer

Welcome to the ‘I favourite your account’ guy and sending you sparks.  Sparks are images from your profile that he likes and uses to starta picture conversation. That’s it really, you won’t hear from him again or at least not for a week or two, as he is probably favouriting everyone, tryinghis luck.


10. The Foreigner

He is on vacation and has locationsettings turned on. He is exploringoptions, claiming he wants to make friendsin the area and that he will moveto your countryone day. Really he is a temporary versionof the f*ckboy. He has photos with touristic places, and a solid tan (shouting foreign).

Oioi he is HOT. You thinkall is going well.

He speaks your languagewhat are the chances?

In truth, he WRITES it as good as Google translate. Once, you ask for a voice notethey make excusesand the conversations dies unlessyou can speaktheir mother tongue
You usually can find out their first dialect from their bio.

tourist


There we have it boys and girls. I hope you have found my FAILEDexperience of POF interesting.

Are you on a dating app?If, sowhy not comment below?

I would love to hear what type of guys you’ve met virtually or in person on it!


Sharing is Caring

I would love if you shared this post to let others know who they might come across before they sign upto POF.


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Thanks for Reading,

Lots of Love.

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